I've seen lots of posts online about modesty and sexuality directed toward women & girls. Almost exclusively directed toward females (there's the first sign of trouble). They come in every flavor. Men and women alike have said things I REALLY disagree with. Rather than get upset with and react to any one of them, I would like to put out the message that I want my kids, both my Chiquita and the boy to come, to learn. Yep, I think my girl & my boy need basically the same discussions. I hope this could help someone talk to their kids or anyone's kids about modesty and sexual purity. If it isn't for you, that's ok, just please be careful when talking to other people's kids.
Here goes:
1. Your body is a good gift from God. He made you in His image. You get a body to learn and grow and become more like God. He wants you to take care of it. No one should hurt or disrespect your body, including you. Your body cannot make anyone, including you, do anything. Everyone is 100% responsible for their own actions, including you.
2. The way you dress your body sends a message to others on how you want to be seen. Like wearing the name of your favorite band on your shirt identifies you as a fan, all your clothing gives messages. You should be aware and make conscience choices about your clothing. The way clothes fit you, what parts of you can be seen, and messages written on them are all part of the way you present yourself. Deciding what is modest is something you'll have to ultimately figure out for yourself, but as your parent I will give you guidelines. This in no way gives anyone the right to treat anyone badly or judge because of their clothes. It's not your fault if the message you try to send it misinterpreted by others and you should assume the best of other people.
3. Procreation, having a baby, is the biggest deal. Your body has half the power to bring a new life into this world. That is HUGE! Therefore everything around procreation, leading to it or replacing it is a very big deal. There are physical and emotional consequences for treating sex lightly and I don't want you to have to deal with any of them. If you are ever forced to do something it is the other person's fault, not yours. Remember, everyone is only responsible for their own actions. If you make a mistake, you can repent and change, even if you make lots of mistakes. You and God know the difference between mistakes and willfully doing something you know is wrong in exchange for momentary gratification. You can repent of that too, but it's harder, trust me. Please don't do it.
4. Because all of this is so important Satan is working every angle. You might hear people say or imply that sexuality is evil and your body is shameful. That's a lie. You'll see advertisements using people's bodies to sell things, subtle and not-so-subtle messages that you should use your body or sexuality to get power or get people to accept you. That's a lie. Sometimes the lies are extreme, and sometimes they are really close to the truth. It can be overwhelming.
Think more about the messages you hear and see. Ask yourself, ask me and ask God, before you believe anything. I love you and God loves you. If you remember that the rest will be easier.
This is great! Thank you again for such a wonderful discussion during our call the other day.
ReplyDeleteI think I will print this out and share it for FHE later this evening.
I am pleased that our daughter is doing well on this point. We faced clothing choices for her that we objected to early on, when she was still a little girl. It bothered Cimmy a lot-- even choices at Wal-Mart were sometimes especially poor in our opinion. Cimmy also decided, with molestation being a part of her past, that Princess needed good discussions about sex early on. I expect that we will continue to discuss this with her for fairly obvious reasons.