I was in line at the post office with Chiquita. The man in front of us was turned around looking intently at Chiquita. Finally he asked me, "Is she half Asian or Hispanic?" I answered, "Hispanic." I get questions about her race/ethnicity often enough that I don't think it's a big deal. Then I offhandedly commented, "I think I'd get asked that less if I was a brunette," (I'm a bottle blond). He responded, "Yeah, you should dye your hair to match hers and wear a bandanna."
...wait... What? Why would I wear a bandanna? Was he implying that my Hispanic husband must be a gang member normally associated with bandannas? ...or... yeah, I can't think of any other association... If I had said she was half Asian would he have suggested I wear a kimono?
I knew his comment was just ignorant and his tone of voice indicated he wasn't trying to offend, so I just smiled and didn't say anything else. I mean, really, I didn't even know how to react. I hate the inter-latino prejudices and didn't want to reference any of that, I wasn't even sure what he thought he was saying. Looking back maybe I could have asked him to explain what he meant. Anyhow, I know this won't be the last strange comment I or my child receive.
How would you have reacted?
It is a shame that there are ignorant people out there and that they chose to share their ignorant thoughts in front of our children. Thankfully, your daughter is still too young to understand, but I might have said something to him if my child was old enough to be hurt by such a comment.
ReplyDeleteI, too, am blonde and caucasian and my children are dark haired, dark eyed. Nobody says anything except maybe "are they your's" which is annoying. You would think that we live in a time that people would understand that a mother and a child don't have to look alike.
Thank you so much for sharing at the SPP.
I agree, my sister-in-law who is caucasian with brown hair and brown eyes has never been asked if her blue-eyed blonde kids belong to her. Like I said, maybe he didn't mean anything by it. I just have no idea what he did mean.
DeleteI wish I could offer you some wonderful words of wisdom, but I can only offer my sympathy that you encountered such a rude man. Unfortunately there will always be those people out there. I only wish that, if they couldn't keep their comments to themselves, they would at least not say hurtful things in front of the children. Ugh.
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